There is a very informal origin to our inquiries in conversation. Through this process, through dialogue and an extensive evolution of our discourse and subjective observations we identified a series of themes in sexual experiences and personal stories that had the disatisfaction of a void and of absence as their common denominator. All this in times where it seems like love is just a swipe away from a touchscreen.
Our interest grew and focused in the subjectivity and objectivity of what we consider virtual and what real. The need to understand this double nature of sexuality materialized in the subject of existence in the work of Gilles Deleuze. Specifically, his ontological approach to virtuality became of interest, which brings Henri Bergson’s approach to the virtual to light as Deleuze reflects upon his philosophy. Bergson’s approach to the virtual as a part and the real as a whole triggered very early a need to digest this duality through a rehearsal process. Improvisation scores were created in relation to this understanding. For example, an improvisation score includes, “there is a difference between yourself, the floor, and the air”.
In order to deepen in our methodological approach, theory serves as a support to put into a very concrete terminology our subjectivity and even our most intuitive fixations. Given the nature of our disciplines, Deleuze’s stance on the virtual image as a pure state in relation to a new present (essentially that the virtual image is recollection, memory) triggers the very concrete nature of our bodies and their materiality. In other words, this theory served both to identify the problem we are dealing with but also to find a common understanding of what we do as we are rehearsing.
The object of our initial inquiry got a new and deeper understanding the more we asked about the impossibility to grasp what exactly sexuality is by itself. This brings us to a new perspective through the work of Alenka Zupancic, as we reconsider ontology of sexuality. Her stance is that sexuality is precisely something that is not there, that sexuality is instead is a void, a space between. This void or space between we link to the space between the virtual and real. There is a missing understanding on the absence which is yet to be consciously understood. Our main interest, thus, resides in that space, in the question of how sexuality is something concrete and, at the same time, not only within the concreteness of the bodies but also in the virtuality of the subconscious or what is hidden, what is absent.